Family

Family is #1

In Korean Culture, family is the underpinning of everything. Confucianism starts with the assumption that the family is good and that society should base all of its relations on the model of the ideal family. Koreans still believe that today.

Immediate Family

Father	아버님, 아버지, 아빠
Mother	어머님, 어머니, 엄마
Younger brother or sister	Use their given name, 동생
Older brother for boys	형님, 형
Older brother for girls	오빠
Older sister for girls	언니
Older sister for boys	누님, 누나
Younger brother for boys	아우, 아우님

Everything is not as clear cut as you think. Let me elaborate.

Names of People

Generally, it's impolite to use someone's name. You should try to refer to them through someone you know, with a term like "Jim's brother" or "Tammy's mom."

People you know professionally, however, should be referred by the title of the role they play in that organization. If there is confusion, use their last name before the title.

In the LDS church, we use the titles "brother" (형제님), "sister" (차매님), "elder" (장로님), "president" (회장님), "bishop" (감독님), etc...

For people you don't know at all, use the best term that seems appropriate. Note that these are all family relationships.

• 할아버지: Very old man.
• 할머니: Very old women.
• 아저씨: Adult male.
• 아줌마: Adult, probably married with kids, female.
• 아가씨: Young, probably unmarried, female.
• 언니: Similarly aged woman, by a woman.

아버님

• This is the formal, polite way to refer to someone's father if you are being polite to them.
• This is how women refer to their husband's father informally.
• Do not use 아버님 to refer to your own father because it implies he is better than the father of the person you are speaking to.
• Do not use to refer to your father when talking to him.

아버지

• This is roughly equivalent to "father."
• Older children should use this term generally when referring to their own father.
• This is the formal, impolite way of referring to someone else's father.
• Even if you develop an affectionate relationship with an older male, you will not use this to refer to him.

아빠

• This is roughly equivalent to "dad" or "pa" or "papa".
• Little kids use this to refer to their father, universally.
• This is also the informal, impolite way of referring to someone's father, even, occasionally, your own.

어머님

• Used to refer to someone else's mother formally and politely.
• Used to refer to your mother-in-law informally, especially by women. It's ok to use if you are a male, and it implies that you think of the mother with affection.
• Do not use to refer to your own mother, because it implies your mother is better than the mother of the person with whom you are speaking.
• Do not use to refer to your mother when you talk to her.

어머니

• This is roughly equivalent to "mother".
• Older children should use this term when referring to their own mother.
• This is the formal, impolite way of referring to someone else's mother.
• Use this to refer to older women whom you have deep affection for. Don't use it in front of your own mother to refer to these women.

엄마

• This is roughly equivalent to "mom", "ma", "mama", etc...
• Younger children use this universally to refer to their own mother.
• This is an informal, impolite way to refer to someone's mother, even, occasionally, your own.
• Using to refer to someone who isn't your mother implies that you have completely become their child, and is not appropriate.

형님

• This is the polite, formal way to refer to a male's older brother.
• This is used to refer to one's own senior in some organization, with respect. Generally, only gangs use this, but you can find it used in other situations.

형

• This is how you refer to your own older brother if you are male, never by name.
• This is how you refer to friends who are male and older than you, if you are male, never by name.

Koreans seem to have the sense that we are all brothers and sistes, and are fond of using the immediate family terms when it is clear they are not even family.

오빠

• Used by women to refer to their older brothers.
• Used by young women to refer to their boyfriends (who are older than them.)